Jude Genereaux | Happy Birthday Darlen’ …

23 08 2013

Happy Birthday Darlen’ …
78 this day: August 23rd, 2013.

You may find yourself in grander company this birthday dinner Norbert, up there with Dave Brubeck & Studs, Vaclav Havel … my brother Al? But Norbr’ – ya shoulda been here. We – all of us, Blei’s & Buff’s & Aunt Lorry & the Blei-Tribe miss you more than you would have imagined. You left us all – too soon.

And I really don’t know how to do this …
learning to live without the sense of your presence in the simplicities of every day life ~ the habits & routines created, moments I turn with news to tell you … the hardest time – 5:45, when I expect you to be coming in from the Coop. Not that we hadn’t spent time apart … but one of us was always on the road back. Always.

How do the rest of us sing our songs without the lilt that made them come alive? much less celebrate days empty without you? Or move through the favorite month of August when it echoes so much loss? These things we never want to learn.

So be patient (for once) until I get back to your side. Our picnics will be quieter now, but I’ll come sit in the grass beside you & recall the ways we honored our holidays – anniversaries & birthdays. For as much as you’d protest that you “didn’t want all that attention!” – you did. Never flinched as favorite restaurant people in Milwaukee & Door served up cupcakes & candles … protests rang hollow up north as well, as Tag-Along or Five O’Clock sang choruses of “Happy Birthday”, you – smiling like a kid.

You left us all too soon, so we’re singing our songs to you with all our hearts … forgive us if they sound a little off key.
~ your Jude

Birthday Gifts

We sit face to face
center of the bed
sharing birthday surprises.

A rose for you
pressed impatiens for me
a watercolor, photo of dawn
strawberries and books
A heart of gold, a truffle or two;
backrubs and chatter
your face
next to mine in the morning.

The true gift is: Time
to lean into hunger
speak the secret language
taste the sweet peace of Renewal.

So run us a tub, my hot lovin’ man
fill it with passion fruit foam
and sink in beside me.
Joy
bubbles forth
You
are the promise
my life bargained for.

Hoarding

I want the shirt he died in.
I want the clothes pins, our dishes,
the last bottle of champagne …

I want all the books, love letters, the
movies and our blankets and
the time we wasted …

I want to hang the sheets, trim his mane
fetch him coffee, bring home bird seed
& go to breakfast at the Viking …

I want his hands, those eyes
his bump in the night
I want him back.

~ Jude Genereaux
Coyote Woman

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17 responses

23 08 2013
Klaus

Na zdravi Kojot !

Pan Klause

23 08 2013
Bill

What a gift, Jude. Your love is alive, your pain is palpable.

23 08 2013
Ralph Murre

a few more candles
for the bard and for the rest
a cake big enough

23 08 2013
geezergirl1

Oh Dear Jude… I’m sitting here having all these feelings and letting my tears fall. thanks for this incredible, from your infinite heart, love letter and poems. Sending you love and light my friend.
xo

23 08 2013
Paula :)!

Jude – Exquisite! We remember with you. We, too, deeply miss him, and keep both of you in our hearts. Always.

23 08 2013
Christo

We miss Dad even more today on his birthday…Thanks, Jude, for posting this tribute to an amazing writer and even better father.

23 08 2013
Al Degenova

Jude, Such a Beautiful tribute! We all miss him and we’re all with you in these hard days. Love to you and Happy Birthday Norb.

23 08 2013
Laird Marshall

What a lovely tribute! TNX

L

23 08 2013
Mary "Casey" Martin

Jude: I’m so sorry for your loss. You, the closest to him at the end of his years. Continue to write your heart out. I think he would be so proud of your well-chosen words. Casey

23 08 2013
John Bing

Didn’t know Norbert. Wish I had.

24 08 2013
Joan

Jude: Such a gift you have, expressing your love and longing for all of us to appreciate, as art and soul.

24 08 2013
Warren Nelson

Thank you dear Jude…the coyotes have been howling every night here in the Bayfield woods, especially last night…my brother Norb up late…Warren

24 08 2013
Ross Lewallen

Jude: thank you for your heart talk.

25 08 2013
Bridget Blei Buff

It’s perfect Jude. I can’t read it without tears. I never realized how very much I would miss his voice. I want so badly to tell him all that his grandchildren have been up to since April! I hope he knows. Your words and photos are a comfort to us. Thank you. Xo Bridget

26 08 2013
Paula :)!

Oh Bridget…he knows, he knows. For me, there is a twinge of sadness and frustration every time I catch myself reaching for the phone or wanting to email a picture because I want to share something with my parents, too -or send off an email to your father. I think that’s normal and will always be there. As for his voice – how lucky we all are that there were so many recordings – sound and video – of your father reading or being interviewed. My favorite – a treasure – is the video interview done by John Nelson for Door County Today. I think that captures him so perfectly!

25 08 2013
Elizabeth

He was just to valuable to all of us to lose so early, he will be truly missed
, thanks for your beautiful words Jude

26 08 2013
ay Bobbereta

Dearest Coyote Woman — you carry the torch now — and you’re doing it by putting your deepest, still so raw feelings into the most amazing words you have probably written since your early giddy masterpieces. Yes, dearest Jude, we / I miss that man, his presence especially, and all he gave to us with such generosity and caring – and that is just a glimmer of the fire you and he had that lit up wherever you and he were and that now you are missing so terribly —- as Norb would have said, write it all because your gift is one-of-a-kind FANTASTIC. I hug you, send you all my love, Bobbie

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